How the hell did I get to where I’m at?  I honestly think I should have been locked up long ago or even shipped off to some random country.

How is it that people like me some how pull a total 180 and become the independent and successful people that we are?  Is it us wanting to prove that we are better than what people expect of us and would go to great lengths to prove them wrong?  I do not have the answer, but what I do know is that I’m not some lazy ass bitch who skates through life.

I just don’t get it, I work hard I try to be the best that I can but some how, some way stupid ass retards some how get the greatest girls.  They put almost no effort into their relationships, the take everything they have for granted.  They even live at home with their mommies till they’re 40 figuring that its just “better this way.”  More like easier because you’re to dam lazy to actually work hard and have something of your own.

On a side note, I’m pretty excited about tomorrow and this weekend.  I”m dying for Nations, that’s if I still get to go and for the time I get to spend with that special person in my life. <3

  So where do I go from here? I write these posts for me and not really for anyone else, but if you’re some random person who reads this then that’s cool feel free to read away. 

  I was talking to one of my friends last night and he told me something that’s pretty interesting.  He had said “why are you being an idiot?”  I got kinda stuck for a second and I really didn’t know how to reply besides “STFU,” which I merely just blurted out in defense of myself, but now thinking about it I have been a pretty big idiot.

  As a kid growing up with no one really around it was pretty lame always coming back to an empty home.  Most people would think it’s a kids awesome fantasy to just do as they please and have no rules, but from experience it’s not very fun not having anyone around to talk to or to share your daily stories with.  Don’t get me wrong this isn’t some sad sappy story of how I was deprived as a child and now it sucks.  That could not be further from the truth.  My experiences throughout my life have made me a strong and independent person.  All and all though I do often wish of a time when i could come home to a girl who would either be cooking dinner or asking how my day was or even the reverse in which I’d be home making dinner asking how her day was.

  I talk a lot about these kind of things because I’ve lived my crazy life and parties all night long.  I’ve gone out with friends who wanted to go to random places and spend all our money.  I’ve done the school thing for so many years now.  I just think it’s time for me to move on to what’s next, to travel to experience the world with someone special and to actually start my adult life. 

  I think i need a doggie =p

I never though I could love anyone ever again, until I met her. <3

Oh it’s just one of those days when all you wanna do is go home to someone you really care about.  Maybe I should get a dog.  Oh and btw Air bender sucked, save you’re money and watch something that wont make you wanna walk out.

Wednesdays are like the cup being either half full or half empty.  Wednesdays are either only a few days into the work week or almost halfway through it, just depends on how you look at it.  I myself like to think that I’m almost to the all mighty TGIF.  I mean what’s the point of thinking the other way?  You’d be dooming yourself to having nothing to look forward to if you’re always looking at the negatives.   So with that said, Happy Wednesday, we’re almost there.

Yes so I’ve come to the realization that my mom is a very smart woman.  She knows what’s up and as hard as it is to ever admit when you’re parents are right; she is completely on target. I have been a selfish stubborn ass who could not see past my own sadness and self-pity, but no more of that.  That’s horrible, if you love someone you’d see that it isn’t about the cars, clothes, and money; it’s about the time that you take and the level of love you can not only show but how you respectfully talk to the person you claim to love so much.  If you love her don’t give her a reason to leave or doubt, give her reasons to stay and smile and love to simply love.  “Love does not make a relationship work”  a very true statement.  It also takes time and effort and the ability to listen and learn.  Show her why you deserve her.  I can do this. 

I‘ve decided to reopen my blog.  I figured it was a good time seeing as how I’m not opening it to complain but rather to just express my own life, views and such.  So what’s there to say… well from the old Xanga days where I left off there is a lot.  I’ve had a very shady past, a lot of which I don’t even hit about.  I’m glad to see those dark memories and times are just that, memories.  I’ve worked hard all these years to become a better, stronger, and confident person.  I’ve had so many people laugh at me and say that “it was impossible” for me to ever achieve anything meaningful but you know what?  I’ve worked my ass off and even when shit has come at me I’ve always pulled myself back up and continued when it would have just been easier to just quit.  You always work for what’s important and to me if it means a lot then I give it my all.

Currently:

Working at my desk

Will be:

Working out

Can make her happy:

By listening and respecting

Want to be:

Everything I can

Question:  Is it worth it?

Answer: It never stopped being worth it.